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From: NewNowNext   5 Q&A Curiosity, Teasing & Bullying By the time most kids of same-sex parents are school age, they’ve already had to respond to questions from well-meaning adults — things like, “Where is your mommy?” or “Which one is your dad?” In most cases, a simple “I have two moms” or “Daddy and Papa are my parents” were sufficient. However, young classmates can be a bit more persistent. And kids in general can be hurtful, whether they are intending to or not. “Why don’t you have a mommy?” “That’s not your dad… I saw your dad this morning!” “Everybody else has a mom.” “He doesn’t have a mom because she’s dead.” Those are just a few of the things said to or about our son by his classmates. I’m sure other families have heard far more… and far worse. Parents should find out how teachers deal with situations like these, whether they arise out of curiosity or teasing. Though your child may be able to handle him or herself and field the questions with confidence, it never hurt...

From: NewNowNext  4 FILLING IN THE BLANKS School & Classroom Forms About a third of the teachers said their forms for gathering student information use “mother” and “father.” Several indicated “parent” or “guardian” was used; the remainder weren’t sure. This is an easy one. If the forms say “mother” and “father,” request that they be changed. Firstly, it’s just more efficient and aids in clearer communication. And while this might not seem to directly affect students, it does help reinforce the idea of same-sex parents as equals — both equally important, and fully equal to hetero parents. “This was addressed recently at our school. In English our forms said ‘parents’ and/or ‘guardians.’ However, the Spanish forms referred to parents as ‘padres’ which means parents, but also technically dads or fathers. The Spanish forms have since been changed to ‘guardianes‘ (guardians). —Gil, pre-k – 8th grade phys. ed. & health teacher, Illinois “Our forms are currently set up as ‘mother’ ...

From: NewNowNext   3 HAPPY HOLIDAYS? Celebrating Mother’s Day in School Many classrooms celebrate Mother’s Day through various activities, stories and crafts. As with any discussion about family, this can cause unnecessary stress for kids without mothers, and negatively reinforce differences from their classmates. Ask the teacher what the specific activities will be, and what accommodations (if any) are offered to children with two mothers or no mother, depending on your family. Ideally, the alternative should be as seamless and unobtrusive as possible. Some teachers may already take such measures, whether it’s making something for both moms; or in the case of kids of two fathers, allowing them to create something for one or both dads, or perhaps Grandma or other female family member. In any case, this shouldn’t require extra effort on the part of the child, or for their activity or craft to be significantly different. My son’s kindergarten teacher told him he could do something differ...

From: NewNowNext  2 ONCE UPON A TIME Story Books & School Libraries As the number of same-sex parents has increased, so has the number of books that feature characters or story lines their kids can relate to. Yet while most two dad or two mom families have these books in their home, very few schools or classrooms do. Ask your child’s teacher if there are any books in the library or class that represent families like yours. If not, find out what the process is to have them included — and be prepared to suggest some titles. For a simpler, short-term solution, lend a book or two to your child’s classroom — and then offer to come read it. This puts a real face to a concept new to most kids, and you might even get to field a few questions from inquisitive, young listeners. “In my classroom, we have And Tango Makes Three. I also use Oliver Button Is a Sissy to talk about bullying. I have the kids say hurtful things to an Oliver paper doll; and for each harmful word, I tear it a bit. Th...

A gay dad enlisted some enlightened teachers to help make back-to-school less stressful. From: NewNowNext Editor’s note Kids across America are heading back to school, including children in same-sex families. While many of the challenges they face are universal, some are unique. Designer Daddy blogger Brent Almond shares five tips on making the first days of school as much fun as possible. (Sorry, there’s still going to be homework.)  Back-to-school time can be chaotic and stressful—and families with same-sex parents have even more issues to anticipate. Kids with two moms or dads may face situations with potential to both alienate or confuse them, whether it’s a child’s first time attending school or just the next grade up, To supplement my own (limited) wisdom and experience, I enlisted the help of 10 teachers. While not all have taught kids of same-sex parents, they were all generous and thoughtful in their responses. Here are five of the issues same-sex parented families often enco...